Thursday, February 5, 2009

Handy man I am not

I'm sure I've mentioned once or twice before that I'm not much of a handy man. My grandpa has awesome woodworking skills. My dad was always a darn good handy man around the house. You'd think between the gene pool and all those long hours I spent handing my dad tools and listening to his explanation of how to use the tools, SOME of it would have rubbed off on me.

At last night's cub scout meeting, our mission was to build a bird house.

First, I would like to present Exhibit A.

Exhibit A.

Looks simple enough, doesn't it?

Please note it says, "Fun & easy to build."

Ummm... Not so much.

The nails that came with this kit were about as strong as a piece of leftover spaghetti, and the wood for the red end pieces was hard as granite. The nails would NOT go into the wood.

Allow me to present Exhibit B.

Exhibit B.

"Fun and easy to build"???

HA!!!

In my defense, this problem was not isolated to me. All five of us dads experienced a smashed finger or thumb at some point as our boys banged away with the hammers. Only two father-son teams were able to finish their bird houses. The other three teams were left frustrated and annoyed.

Maybe I could sue the manufacturer for emotional trauma and become a millionaire like the McDonald's hot coffee lady. I'm kind of surprised given the silly legal disclaimers on every other product sold in America that there weren't any on this birdhouse package.

4 comments:

Sam said...

I just say it has character! I guess asking you to come help assemble the bunk beds is out of the question?!

Hope LW and the kidlet are feeling better!

J120 Bowman said...

HAAAAAA HAAAA HAAAAAA!!!

Good times. Good times. I'm having flashbacks!

Having spent seven years with two boys in the Cub Scout world, I will give you the answer to ALL woodworking projects.

Needlenose pliers! Yes, needlenose pliers!

Use the pliers to hold the infintesimally small nails straight and in place while your son wields the hammer!

Show up with a pair of needlenose pliers and every other dad will gawk in envy at your prowess and skill!

blunoz said...

Sam - I'm okay putting things together that already have pre-drilled holes. :-)

J120 - That's actually really good advice. Why didn't I think of that? I mean, the guys who actually got their bird houses put together were complaining how much more their fingers got smashed with the hammer. It was because they were holding onto the nails longer. The nails went in straight as long as I was holding them. It was just when they were too short to hold anymore that hitting them with the hammer made them bend over sideways. Needle nose pliers would have been AWESOME. I'll have to remember that for next time.

David'Z RantZ said...

A very enjoyable post. Many of my own Cub Scout projects back in the Dark Ages were attempted solo, due to a father who worked nights and hung out with his buddies on weekends. I enjoyed the post about the race cars, too, a few days ago. I just didn't have the chance to leave a comment.