Thursday, December 11, 2008

I need a lawyer

Anybody wanna help me sue the Washington Post?
Dear Washington Post,


- I didn't ORDER the newspaper.
- I don't WANT the newspaper.
- I'm tired of picking up YOUR TRASH ON MY DRIVEWAY.



I've contacted the Washington Post FOUR times now and asked them to STOP delivering the newspaper to my house. Yet, every morning, there's a newspaper laying in my driveway. They go directly into the recycle bin.

Will somebody with legal smarts out there please tell me how many times I have to ask them to stop before I can sue them for littering on my property? Then maybe I can add myself to the list of frivolous lawsuits.

I was trying to think of some other way to get the attention of the IMBECILE who delivers the newspaper on our street and won't stop leaving them at my house. I wish I knew what TIME he drove through so I could more adequately develop a plan to get his attention. How about some of those little spike things in the road that the state troopers use to pop tires and stop high-speed chases?

Apparently I'm not the only one with this problem.


Hilary said...

This site doesn't appear to have much traffic but it might be a start. Failing that, why not put your recycle bin in the usual paper delivery spot with a sign that says "Washington Post delivery box"

Navy Blue Cougar said...

Better start watching your back. Pretty soon, some kid on a bike will be stalking you, looking for his two dollars.

reddog said...

I use my newspaper as absorbent padding under my cat's litterbox. He's a nice boy but not very fastidious.

You could get a cat.

Sagey said...

I heard it hit the driveway around 4am this morning.

blunoz said...

Hilary - I LOVE your idea with the recycle bin. That's AWESOME!

Steve - LOL. TWO DOLLARS!!! Thanks for the BOD flashback. I've been wondering how old my boys need to be before they'll appreciate that movie.

reddog - LOL. Thanks for the laugh. Get a cat. Hee hee.