The first sentence...
Do not abuse battery.
Gosh, I'm SO glad they put that there. Cuz ya know I was just itching to see how high it could bounce off the tile floor on the first floor if I dropped it from the atrium opening on the 7th floor of my building. Whew! What a RELIEF they put that statement on the battery for my BlackBerry. NOW I know better!
Seriously... who thinks these things up???
Oh, yes, I did say there was "a lot" of writing on the battery, didn't I? After that breathtaking statement above, it says to dispose of the battery properly (um, okay...), and then it offers what I assume are the same two legal statements in like 17 other languages. This is because, you know, BlackBerry doesn't want to get sued by some guy in Bangladesh because he was beating on his BlackBerry battery with a sledghammer and it stopped working and nobody warned him "do not abuse battery" in his native language.
Give me a break.