Last night, we were enjoying a wonderful dinner with a few friends over when there was a knock at the door. We looked up from the dinner table to see my next door neighbor, who is also in the Navy, standing at the door in his half-assembled dinner-dress blues (fancy black-tie tuxedo type of uniform). He was going to the Navy Marine Corps Relief Society ball last night, and came up missing a piece of his dress uniform, so he came to borrow from my uniform supplies.
It's good to have neighbors in the same military service as you.
Yes, yes, it gave me flashbacks to my OWN uniform mess ups and borrowing items from MY neighbors in the past.
So, I mention this as a friendly reminder to those of you looking forward to something like... ohhh... say the Submarine Birthday Ball on April 11th. That's only two weeks away! Save yourself some stress later by inventorying your uniform pieces and parts now and trying them on to make sure they fit if it's been a while.
You've been warned! :-)
Showing posts with label uniform faux pas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label uniform faux pas. Show all posts
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Dining In: A Lesson in Uniforms
This one almost qualifies for the Stupid Kevin Tricks files.
We had our submarine squadron Dining-In on Saturday night.
I clearly failed my JOs and did not provide adequate guidance to them to prepare them for this event. Shame on me. I forget that over the years, I've learned a few things the hard way about preparing for formal functions like this, and I could have saved my guys some heartache if I had shared some of those experiences beforehand.
So for anyone else headed to any formal functions in the near future (like, say, the Submarine Birthday Ball in one month), allow me to offer a few words of advice. Actually, here's a little thought-provoking quiz to help you start thinking ahead:
You are going to a formal function that requires a uniform you have not worn in a long time, not to mention the fact that you have had a PCS move since the last time you wore it. You should:
a) Wait until 1 hour before the event begins, then discover that your pants and/or jacket don't fit, and you're missing your shirt studs and suspenders.
b) Wait until 1 day before, then try them on to find out they don't fit. Hurry to the uniform shop and beg, plead, and pay the tailor "rush" fees to have your new pants hemmed.
c) Try them on at least a week before the event so you have time to buy a pair that fit and have them hemmed without any groveling or "rush" fees (because those darn dress uniforms are expensive enough as it is).
In my case, I said to myself, "Self, I just wore my dinner dress uniform to the Submarine Birthday Ball in Norfolk, so I'll be fiiiiiine." Okay, kids, I want you to go back and circle the key words in that sentence that should have caused alarm bells to go off in the back of my head.
1) Key words that should cause alarm: "Just" and "Submarine Birthday Ball." Um... the Submarine Birthday Ball (in APRIL) was ALMOST a YEAR ago. Try the stupid pants on!!!
2) Key word that should cause alarm: "NORFOLK." Hello, you're in Pearl Harbor now. There was this little thing called a PCS MOVE in between then and now. Things tend to get LOST while moving HALF WAY AROUND THE GLOBE. Inventory your pieces and parts so you don't have to make a mad dash to the uniform shop!!!
There are many benefits to living in Navy housing. Not the least of which is I didn't have to make a mad dash to the uniform shop. LW kindly made a mad dash across the street to our neighbor's house and asked if I could borrow his shirt studs and suspenders, and he hooked me up. :-)
I have to give a shout-out to my LW here, because she was WONDERFUL in helping me get ready last night. In addition to straightening my bow tie and cumshawing missing uniform parts for me, she also reminded me that I had TWO pairs of dress uniform pants in the closet - the pair I got as a JO (that were cutting off my circulation) and the pair I got more recently that fit rather comfortably.
One more tidbit of advice:
My first port call in Chin Hae, Korea was downright painful. Every time we have a port call there, you go out to "dinner" with your sponsor Korean submarine's wardroom. The first time I did this, I thought "dinner" meant food would be involved, so I didn't eat before we went. Then I suffered the consequences the morning after that drink-fest.
Someone then explained to me that before a night of heavy drinking like that, you should eat the greasiest burger or pizza you can get your hands on, or take some pepto-bismol. The reasoning was that the grease or pepto-bismol will coat your stomach lining and reduce the rate of alcohol absorption into your blood stream. I have no idea if there is any scientific fact behind that explanation, or if it's just an "old wives tale," but I tell you what. The next time we pulled into Korea, I used that trick, and it worked. I was much better able to hold my liquor and we drank the Koreans under the table.
We had our submarine squadron Dining-In on Saturday night.
I clearly failed my JOs and did not provide adequate guidance to them to prepare them for this event. Shame on me. I forget that over the years, I've learned a few things the hard way about preparing for formal functions like this, and I could have saved my guys some heartache if I had shared some of those experiences beforehand.
So for anyone else headed to any formal functions in the near future (like, say, the Submarine Birthday Ball in one month), allow me to offer a few words of advice. Actually, here's a little thought-provoking quiz to help you start thinking ahead:
You are going to a formal function that requires a uniform you have not worn in a long time, not to mention the fact that you have had a PCS move since the last time you wore it. You should:
a) Wait until 1 hour before the event begins, then discover that your pants and/or jacket don't fit, and you're missing your shirt studs and suspenders.
b) Wait until 1 day before, then try them on to find out they don't fit. Hurry to the uniform shop and beg, plead, and pay the tailor "rush" fees to have your new pants hemmed.
c) Try them on at least a week before the event so you have time to buy a pair that fit and have them hemmed without any groveling or "rush" fees (because those darn dress uniforms are expensive enough as it is).
Oh yeah, new thought just came to my mind from reading the first couple of comments from Sam and C: If you are stationed someplace like, oh... say... around Dulles in Northern Virginia, then that "quick dash" to the uniform shop may involve a 45 minute drive (or much worse in traffic) to either Bethesda Naval Hospital or to the Washington Navy Yard to pick up your missing items. If you live someplace with NO Navy bases nearby like, oh... say... A2, Michigan, DRIVING to a uniform shop might not even be an option for you - so add on a couple of weeks for shipping from the NEX website.One of my JO's got fined at the Dining-In for trying to "hydro" his uniform (he looked like a stuffed sausage). One of the master chiefs commented he was afraid one of the JO's buttons was going to pop off with enough velocity to kill somebody.
In my case, I said to myself, "Self, I just wore my dinner dress uniform to the Submarine Birthday Ball in Norfolk, so I'll be fiiiiiine." Okay, kids, I want you to go back and circle the key words in that sentence that should have caused alarm bells to go off in the back of my head.
1) Key words that should cause alarm: "Just" and "Submarine Birthday Ball." Um... the Submarine Birthday Ball (in APRIL) was ALMOST a YEAR ago. Try the stupid pants on!!!
2) Key word that should cause alarm: "NORFOLK." Hello, you're in Pearl Harbor now. There was this little thing called a PCS MOVE in between then and now. Things tend to get LOST while moving HALF WAY AROUND THE GLOBE. Inventory your pieces and parts so you don't have to make a mad dash to the uniform shop!!!
There are many benefits to living in Navy housing. Not the least of which is I didn't have to make a mad dash to the uniform shop. LW kindly made a mad dash across the street to our neighbor's house and asked if I could borrow his shirt studs and suspenders, and he hooked me up. :-)
I have to give a shout-out to my LW here, because she was WONDERFUL in helping me get ready last night. In addition to straightening my bow tie and cumshawing missing uniform parts for me, she also reminded me that I had TWO pairs of dress uniform pants in the closet - the pair I got as a JO (that were cutting off my circulation) and the pair I got more recently that fit rather comfortably.
One more tidbit of advice:
My first port call in Chin Hae, Korea was downright painful. Every time we have a port call there, you go out to "dinner" with your sponsor Korean submarine's wardroom. The first time I did this, I thought "dinner" meant food would be involved, so I didn't eat before we went. Then I suffered the consequences the morning after that drink-fest.
Someone then explained to me that before a night of heavy drinking like that, you should eat the greasiest burger or pizza you can get your hands on, or take some pepto-bismol. The reasoning was that the grease or pepto-bismol will coat your stomach lining and reduce the rate of alcohol absorption into your blood stream. I have no idea if there is any scientific fact behind that explanation, or if it's just an "old wives tale," but I tell you what. The next time we pulled into Korea, I used that trick, and it worked. I was much better able to hold my liquor and we drank the Koreans under the table.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Uniform of the Day
OMG! I've heard of pulling a fast one on an Ensign and convincing him to wear black shoes with his whites or convincing him to wear some silly uniform combination that doesn't exist. I think you see one of these poor saps at the Navy Birthday Ball or the Submarine Birthday Ball every year wearing some uniform different than everyone else because his "shipmates" hooked him up and told him it was the "uniform of the day." I suspect that's what happened here, but this is the first time I've heard of a lieutenant, and someone supposedly smart enough to pass the Engineer Exam falling for something like that. My CO and I were laughing pretty hard at this one we got on email today from Naval Reactors...
"ALL,
I have received several queries about the uniform shift date for DC this Fall, so I wanted to make sure everyone got the word... We have already shifted to SDBs (shift was on 10/1/07). On this same topic, we have had several PNEO candidates show up wearing incorrect uniforms lately... During the last exam we had a guy in choker whites (with medals!), a guy in SDBs, and a guy in poly-wool khakis, all on the same day... A regular fashion show! Please make sure your PNEOs know what to wear. Thanks.
V/R LCDR K..."
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