Things that go "Bang!"

I think it's genetic. Something is hard-wired into the male brain that creates this obsession with things that go "Bang!" Or maybe that Y-chromosome lacks something that inhibits this obsession in girls. We start out as little boys in awe of obvious, overt things that go bang like guns. Over time, we mature and gain appreciation for things that go bang in different ways like an internal combustion engine or a nuclear power plant. I can look back and see this development in my own life. As a kid, my dad would take me to visit the ships he was stationed on, and all I cared about seeing were the GUNS and the MISSILES, and he always seemed excited to show me the engine room. I didn't get it back then. I think I was in high school before I saw my first LM-2500 gas turbine on an AEGIS cruiser and think that was pretty darn cool.

What made me think of this is watching our boys and their obsession with guns. I think ES's drawings of ships with guns all over them are very similar to the drawings I remember making when I was less than 5 years old.

Quick Tangent: How do I know it was before I turned 5 years old? Because I remember the house we lived in at that time. As a military brat moving from place to place, you can generally place any memory, song, or movie within about a 2-year timespan because you remember which house you lived in.

LW and I have tried, and still continue to try, to suppress some of this obsession with guns. Back while we were in VA, I wanted these really cool miniature remote control tanks for my birthday that shot infrared beams at each other and could tell when they had been "hit." LW said no, they were too violent. We didn't let the boys watch violent movies or play violent video games. Yet, walking through Home Depot one day, I found the boys sitting in the basket had picked up the allen wrenches I was going to buy, and were using them as "guns" pointing them out of the basket and "shooting" at people. So even if we don't get them toy guns, they make toy guns out of Legos or tools or pencils or whatever else they happen to have handy. So we figured it was hard-wired in little-boys brains and our attempts at keeping them isolated from all things "violent" weren't really working, and we slacked off a bit.

I feel like it's a little out of control now. 3 1/2-year old YS particularly worries me. If the doorbell rings, he runs to the front door and assumes the Weaver stance to "shoot" whoever is behind the door. I don't think 5 waking minutes goes by without YS making one of his three favorite sound effects:
1) "shpew!" - his shooting noise. This is usually preceeded by favorite sound effect #2.
2) "chk-chk" - the sound he makes like he's pulling the slide back on a semi-automatic weapon and chambering a round (followed soon thereafter by assuming the Weaver stance and sound effect #1, or running into another room holding his hands in a two-handed pistol-grip).
3) "ching-ching-ching" - the sound he imitates from Age of Empires for swords clanging in a sword fight. This sound effect is evoked with chopsticks at a Chinese restaurant, or drinking straws at just about any other restaurant, or a Halloween pencil he got at the fall festival.

Tonight, LW made some awesome huevos rancheros for dinner. One of the boys looked at the shredded cheese on his plate and said, "Look! It's a gun!" Somehow three pieces of shredded cheese laying on his plate looked like a gun to him. LW and I asked them why they couldn't say it looked like a tree or a flower, and ES giggled because the thought we were being pretty silly. LW says she wants to have one day of nothing but Barbie dolls, no guns allowed, but quickly realized they would somehow convert the Barbie dolls into guns.

BTW - Have I mentioned that LW has started making comments how she wishes we had a girl so there would be someone in the family who would be excited about going shopping with her? I asked her if she really wanted to go back to poopy diapers. She said no. We agreed two kids was enough for us. The two we have are a handful as it is, and it's not worth the health risk to LW after her past two C-sections.

I feel like LW and I have become broken records - "Stop that! No shooting Mommy / Daddy!" "ES/YS, we don't shoot people, that's not nice!"

I sincerely hope that my theory about obsessing with things that go bang is correct, and that over time the boys' obsession will mature into interest in things like engines that harness the "bang" to do something productive instead of destructive.

There is a silver lining of sorts: At least when we're in busy department stores (NEX, Hilo Hatties...), it's not hard to find our boys. Stealthy they are not. If you hear "chk-chk", that's generally a warning that somebody is being snuck-up on and about to be "shpewed."

Weekend Recap and a few odds and ends

I'm writing my recap of the weekend and a smattering of other random topics on Monday night since the storms yesterday kept causing power surges and kept knocking out our internet service.

Friday afternoon I felt like I saw Elvis. There I was, driving along near the Makalapa gate when I saw a guy walking along in khakis. He has a very distinctive walk, and I said to myself, "Self... could that be Wild Bill?" Bill was a sub school classmate of mine last year. I was sure he was stationed on a boomer out of Bangor, so I figured there was no way he was walking down the street here in Pearl Harbor. But as I got closer, I said, "Self, it IS! It IS Wild Bill!" Bill is a true steely-eyed killer of the deep - a true submarine warrior (sorry, can't tell ya about it). I felt really blessed to have Bill in my group at sub school. He's one of those guys that just doesn't get pissed off. No matter what happens, he rolls with the punches and gets the job done - and he does so without being a jerk about it, either. That's a challenging balance I have seen few submarine officers master. (As for me, I think I tend to tip the scales toward the "jerk" side and don't do such a good job of rolling with the punches).

Wild Bill and Rich at AUTEC in Nov '06.

Anyway, I was right, Bill really is on a boomer out of Bangor. Poor Bill cracked a tooth and had to be BSP'ed off here in Pearl to go to the dentist. When I saw him there on the street, he hadn't been off the boat for two hours yet and was wondering to himself, "Self, I wonder who I might run into here during my brief visit to Pearl Harbor?" I managed to go out and grab a cup of coffee with Bill last night before he went to rejoin his boat this morning. It was great to see him and swap some sea stories.

- Friday night, we went over to the Ala Moana center so LW could return some stuff and look for a glass pitcher at Sears, and so we could get some dinner at Islands. I will forever be in debt to my college roommate, Ryan, for introducing me to Islands. Back then, we would go to Islands whenever we went to visit his parents around Hermosa Beach or Santa Monica. Since then, Islands has spread across southern California, and we went there frequently during my previous sea tour in San Diego. Now we've been blessed with an Islands here in Honolulu - close enough we can go every once in a while for a little indulgence, but far enough that we don't go often. Islands serves absolutely awesome, enormous burgers and tacos. The one here in Honolulu has great service, too. (Not to imply that other Islands have lousy service, just expressing my pleasure with the service here).

- Family Movie marathon. We frequently like to have a Family Movie Night and rent some movie to watch together as a family. It was awesome in our home theater back in Virginia. But it's not the big screen that matters, it's the spending time together as a family, right? So since it was going to pour rain all weekend and we had two coupons for Blockbuster that were going to expire, we went for two movies instead of one.

First we watched Transformers. That was, wait for it... legendary. Okay, the plot was a little on the weak side, but better than I expected, and the special effects and the action were just amazing. Great movie - highly recommend it! That's one we're going to buy because the boys and I will watch it over and over and over again.

Second up, we watched Surf's Up. It was okay. It was done as sort of a spoof on reality-TV shows, like interviewing the main character and having him tell the story of what happened, interspersed with video clips of what happened. It was kind of funny the way they made fun of reality-TV, but that humor went over the boys' heads. I think the boys lost interest in it before the end. Probably won't watch that one again.

- Speaking of reality TV, a favorite show of both LW and mine just started up again - The Amazing Race. Unfortunately, with all the problems of power surges and satellite reception coming in and out, the DVR missed the first half of the show, so we missed the introduction of who the contestants are this time around. Luckily the website has lots of good info so we can catch up. I always like watching the polls on the website week by week of who the viewers think are going to win the race. I think it'd be way cool to go on the Amazing Race someday.

- Thanks to our friend Corey for giving us a heads up! There's a new Lego Star Wars video game coming out this week!
I really like Lego Star Wars. It's very simple to control and very forgiving of mistakes, so it's great for small children to be able to actually play the game. It's not overly gruesome or violent (when you "kill" the bad guys, they break up into Lego pieces - no blood and gore). Two people can play at the same time, which sometimes helps alleviate fighting over the XBox (except when ES wants to go one direction and YS wants to go another direction - your characters have to stay together on the screen). Plus, there's a lot of adult humor written into how they tell the story of Star Wars with these mini skits that are actually pretty funny. I found this video that shows there's an Indiana Jones character you can use in the new game - complete with a bull whip and pistol.

- I wanted to change the song on my blog to my favorite new song on KLOVE, but I can't find it on the project playlist website. If you go to Phil Wickham's myspace page though, his song "After Your Heart" is the first song that starts playing in the background. You can also check it out on the KLOVE top-songs list. I really liked his comment on his myspace page, "Writing about music is like dancing about architecture."

- BTW, have I mentioned how much I appreciate my absolutely awesome wife? She puts up with so much. She's "on the job" as a busy mom taking care of me and our boys 24/7. I know she gets tired of the never-ending piles of laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, cooking, and playing taxi driver to take the boys to school and swimming lessons and piano lessons and everywhere else. I know it seems like she's got a thankless job, but I really appreciate everything she does for me and the boys. You're awesome, Sweetie!

Concessions - follow-up

There's something bizarre and wrong in the universe this weekend. I mean, Navy beat Notre Dame (first time in 44 years!). Then there's this bizarre weather we've been having. Granted, living here in Hawaii for three months by no means makes me any sort of an expert on life or weather patterns in Hawaii. Still, the weather has been the same every day for the past three months. Then this week it rained a bit more than we were used to. Then last night and today it's just been pouring buckets, to the point of waking LW and I up several times in the night because of the loud roar coming from the roof. Plus, it's the first time we've observed thunder and lightning here.

Based on Future Chaps' recommendation, and our lack of motivation to go out in the rain this morning, we decided to try the evening church service at FPC. The music was good (contemporary Christian), and I enjoyed the message that Jordan shared with us setting the stage for the story of Noah's Ark (he's doing a series on Genesis).

However, going back to the kids' influence on choosing a church... There attendance at the evening service was like 25 people (compared to hundreds in the morning), and there was nobody in the Sunday school area downstairs. One nice lady offered to take our boys down there, but they didn't want to go because (a) there weren't any other kids there, and (b) they had no idea who this lady was who was offering to take them away.

So both boys stayed with us in the sanctuary. They started out behaving okay, but got progressively worse. I thought a major fight was going to break out when YS kicked ES's flip flops down the aisle. In retaliation, ES proceeded to angrily and forcefully STOMP on top of both of YS's feet. We separated them, but then ES was kicking the backs of the chairs in front of us, and YS was wandering up and down the aisle with his precious blue blanket draped over his head like a ghost. Some of the people sitting next to the aisle a few rows in either direction were giggling watching him.

We eventually gave up and left the service early because the boys were just spiraling out of control. So I think we'll stick with the concession on the music aspect and go back to the morning service where at least ES will go willingly into the Sunday school, and we can work on getting YS to know the people there so he'll go, too.

Focal points in history

Back in Monterey, Professor Teti liked talking about focal points in history - where the actions of one man altered the course of history. His favorite example was Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain with the 20th Maine on Little Round Top at Gettysburg. Out of ammunition and with the Confederate troops making another attempt to take the hill, Chamberlain ordered his men to fix bayonets and charge down the hill. If he hadn't, the Confederates would have turned the Union flank and the Battle of Gettysburg and the entire Civil War would have turned out differently.

What made me think of it was reading this excellent post on the Battle of Guadalcanal. One Marine held the ridge. One ship got the Japanese fleet to retreat. What a great story in U.S. history.


My second boat, USS HELENA, was named after a cruiser that was sunk in the Battle of the Kula Gulf in the Solomon Islands. Almost exactly 60 years after the battle, we were steaming through the Solomon Islands toward an exercise with the Australians and a port call in Brisbane, Australia. We wanted to conduct an innocent passage transit through the Solomon Islands and lay a wreath in the Kula Gulf in remembrance of the cruiser HELENA. CTF-74 (commander of submarines in the Western Pacific) initially approved our request, but then the lawyers said no. I never understood that. I don't think anyone could argue our holding a memorial service at sea could in any way be "prejudicial to the peace, good order, or security" of the Solomon Islands. If the previous HELENA hadn't been there in 1943, the people of the Solomon Islands would all be speaking Japanese, so why would they have any objection to our remembering the sacrifice of those who went there before us? We still surfaced and held a memorial service on the bridge and laid the wreath - even though we were like 50 miles out to sea from the actual site of the battle.

We had a great little book in our wardroom that told the tale of the Battle of the Kula Gulf. It's interesting to read about the difference in command and control back then, before satellite communications or Link 11 or OTCIXS or AIS. Those ships went into battle in the pitch black of night, and they weren't really sure what toll the battle had taken until it was all over and they did roll call. The radioman on the flagship called out for a response and damage report from each of the ships in the task force. "USS SAINT LOUIS" Roger. "USS NICHOLAS" Roger. "USS HELENA..." Silence. "USS HELENA..." Silence. "USS HELENA...?" Silence. It wasn't until the roll call after the battle was over that they discovered the HELENA had been sunk, and then went in to rescue the survivors.

Week in review

Here's a smattering of random observations from this last week:

PRT - Considering I had a deep chest-cough, nasty boat-crud cold for the past two weeks, I was pretty pleased with my results on the Physical Readiness Test (PRT) this week. I was still coughing a bit the morning of the PRT, but I managed to crank out 85 situps, 65 pushups, and did the 1.5 mile run in 13:22 (just a smidge under a 9-minute per mile pace). That's pretty good for me. (For my age group, I have to do 40 situps, 33 pushups, and finish the run in 14:45 to pass).

My Disappointment with McD's: To celebrate the completion of the PRT, I felt the urge to go to Micky-D's for breakfast and get something really bad for me. I suddenly had a craving and zoomed on over to the McD's drive through and ordered a chicken biscuit. The lady on the drive-through microphone said, "A what?" A chicken biscuit. "Uhhh, I'm sorry, but we don't have those here." You WHAT?!?!?!?! What sort of anti-American pinko-commie type of establishment are they running on this base?!?! My LW reminded me that we're not in Virginia anymore. I guess the chicken biscuits are a "southern" thing? Well, at least they have haupia pie here.

The Wise Old O-6 in Action: I had the opportunity to attend my second meeting with the Wise Old O-6. Man, that was like watching a bull in a china shop. He's very different than what I expected from the rumor mill. I expected a screamer, and he's not (at least I haven't seen it in my two meetings with him so far). He's actually very calm, very polite, and extremely professional, and I've gained a great deal of respect for him. He just does not accept any non-commital or open-ended answers and asks very good, laser-guided questions. I have to thank my first CO on my DH tour for training me to never accept the proverbial "they said..." or "they're working on it" without knowing exactly who "they" were and exactly WHEN they promised it would be done. I put those management techniques to use during SRA in San Diego dealing with multiple contractor organizations ripping out our radio room and installing the HDR mast (there's a handful of future blog posts to come right there).

The Barge: LW and the Boys came down to check out the barge. I figured they'd like to see it while we're on the sub base side of the harbor. Once they move us over to the shipyard side, then I won't be able to bring them inside the Controlled Industrial Area (CIA). Before EP reports me for a security violation, don't worry - the screen saver on the computer was locked, so ES is staring intently at a locked computer. I took a great picture of LW laying on the couch in my stateroom on the barge, but she won't let me post it.

Get Sirius: Have I mentioned how glad I am to have Dish Network back? I think I might have mentioned that once or twice. One of the reasons I'm glad to have it back is to have Sirius satellite radio back. I never even thought twice about XM or Sirius at first. Then one day, Sirius partnered up with Dish Network, and all of a sudden, the Sirius music channels were available on my Dish Network receivers. I found that I really liked channel 22 (First Wave). Their Contemporary Christian channel 66 (Spirit) is good, too, but not as good as KLOVE. For Father's Day a couple of years ago, LW got me these awesome wireless outdoor speakers that I mounted on our back deck. They got their signal from the Dish Network receiver, so I could tune it in to First Wave and listen to music out on our back deck while we were barbecuing or eating dinner. A few nights ago, I went to bed early in preparation for getting up for the PRT, and I was able to turn on First Wave in our bedroom. The very first song that came on was one of my old favorites from The Cure, and it was really nice to go to sleep with Sirius.

Save the Cheerleader, Save the World: I finished watching the last episode of Heroes Season One last night. What a great show! I really like Hiro Nakamura. Last weekend, I did a mad rush to record all of this season's HIMYM and Heroes onto DVD before the local cable company came to retrieve their lame DVR cable boxes. I think I successfully transfered them all to DVD. I look forward to seeing what happens to Hiro in Kyoto.

Kryptonite

So, as some of you know, I suffer from migraine headaches. I mean, we're talking down-for-the-count, totally-incapacitated, and unable to accomplish anything when I get hit by one. I've had them at least since 3rd grade.

Luckily, I have discovered the triggers that cause them. It took years of pattern analysis, mainly by tracking what I ate immediately prior to getting the headache. The two biggest culprits for me are MSG and Splenda (which, I found out the hard way is sometimes listed as "sucralose" in ingredients).

The way I figured out the MSG was when we were in Monterey, there used to be this little Thai food cart that set up in the courtyard outside Root Hall. I developed a very noticeable pattern there that every time I ate the Thai food, I had a raging headache by the time I went home in the afternoon. I tied that together with the fact that I frequently got headaches after eating Chinese food, and finally I figured it out it was MSG.

Also luckily, the docs finally found a drug that works pretty well. If I take Imitrex when I start feeling the pre-cursors (sensitivity to light and sound,and this weird feeling or "aura" around my head), then the Imitrex usually does the trick and either stops it from ever manifesting or gets me through it in 30 minutes or so. The problem I have is when I have something for dinner not realizing there was MSG in it and I go to bed, then I wake up with a migraine, and then it's too late and I'm suffering and miserable all morning.

Not-so-luckily, I have been finding MSG appearing in more and more types of food, and Splenda is becoming more and more popular in diet sodas and other "healthy" eating alternatives. As a result, I have started seeking things that actually use sugar so I know it's not splenda, which in turn means I'm consuming more calories than I used to - not exactly helping my "culture of fitness" battle.

On the shore side, most places when I ask if they have MSG in the food or Splenda in their Diet Coke, the waitress will look at me like I've got three heads. I've found that (a) it's not worth the hassle of asking them because they never know the answer, and (b) it's not worth the risk when they tell me the wrong answer (intentionally or not) and I end up knocked out of commission for a half a day.

I used to love going to Jamba Juice all the time in San Diego, and I was really excited to find Jamba Juice here in Hawaii... but I think they must have Splenda in the non-fat frozen yogurt they use, because I've gotten a headache most times I've gone there since arriving in Hawaii. Once I suspected it, I asked someone at the store if they had Splenda in it, and the girl behind the counter said no, but I still got a headache. Bye-bye Jamba Juice. :-(

It used to be safe on the boat. I went an entire 6-month deployment without a food-induced migraine (the worst headache I had in Chin Hae, Korea, came after a night out with a Korean submarine wardroom, but that's another long story). When I got on the MSP though, I spent like three days in total agony. It really pissed me off and I went to the Chop and the CSC (chief cook) and said, "Look, SOMETHING you guys are cooking with has either MSG or Splenda in it. FIND IT!" Well, wouldn't ya know it? Both the beef base and the chicken base they were using for ALL the soups and many of the other things they cooked had MSG in it. Plus, you know how the CS's (Culinary Specialists - formerly known as MS or Mess Specialists) take the leftovers from lunch and/or dinner and mush them together into some casserole for midrats? Yeah, they use the beef base or the chicken base to sort of add moisture and hold the stuff together, so most midrats were off limits for me. Luckily, once we identified that, the CS's were very good about briefing me at the beginning of each meal on which items they used the beef or chicken base so I wouldn't eat them. Once or twice it resulted in me only getting to eat cake and ice cream for dinner because there wasn't anything else that didn't have MSG in it. (Once again, oh-so-helpful in my "culture of fitness" battle).

As a result though, the guys on the boat now refer to MSG as "XO Kryptonite." At least one of my JOs (Mark) has learned to recognize the facial expression I make when I'm in agony and battling through a headache. It has even become the theme of our next official wardroom function. The Captain is hosting an MSG party. That is to say, a "MSP Social Gathering." The theme is everything MSG except for monosodium glutamate. The Captain plans to serve MSG's, or Mai-Tai's in Small Glasses. I was thinking about making some Mango San Gria. Given my affinity for Mexican food, I suggested we have Mole Salsa and Guacamole. Or maybe some Mini Steamed Gnocci? Anyone got any other good "MSG" ideas for the party?

Happy Halloween

Okay, first of all, what the HECK was up with traffic here yesterday and today??? It was like some bizarre alignment of the planets or disturbance in the gravitational field resulted in near-gridlock conditions around Pearl Harbor yesterday and today. Normally, it takes about 10 minutes to drive from ES's school to our house. We left his school after his piano lesson got out yesterday around 4:40, and by 5:15, we still hadn't even made it to the Makalapa Gate yet (only like a third of the way home). I stuck my cell phone out the window and took the picture on the left to help pass the time as I was bored out of my skull sitting there listening to ES complain about how hungry he was. Of course, we were in my car with no DVD player, so there wasn't anything to really entertain him as we SAT there. I tried working up a conversation with him, but it was the fairly typical, "What'd you do at school today?" "Nothing." At least I already knew they went on a field trip to the fire department that day, so I could ask him specific questions about the fire department. By the time we got the Makalapa Gate, I said to myself, "Self, this is absolutely ridiculous, let's get some dinner and wait out the traffic." So I called LW (she was like 5 cars in front of me) and we turned right at the Makalapa Gate and went to Sam Sneads to get some dinner and watch the traffic go by. By the time we left dinner at around 6:30, it was still congested and took us another 20 minute to get home.

This afternoon it was a little bit better, but not by much. It normally takes about 6 minutes to drive from my house to the boat or vice versa (via the Halawa Gate). I can do it on my bicycle in 12 minutes. This afternoon it took me 30 minutes. Yep, you read that right - I could've JOGGED and gotten home faster than I did in my car!

Today the rain might have been a factor. It has been raining cats and dogs and buffalo and sheep and elephants all day here. I snapped the picture on the right of the gushing water from our rain gutter on my way into the house.

So I just barely made it home in time to help get the boys in their costumes and leave for the Halloween kick-off at the community center in our Navy housing area. ES was a soldier. If you asked YS what he was, he would have told you, "my favorite Luke." You might have to have some experience playing the Lego Star Wars video game to understand this. As you get through each level of Lego Star Wars, you unlock different characters you can use with different skills or weapons. There are like five different versions of Luke Skywalker in the game - the original Luke with a blaster and no Jedi powers, the Hoth ice planet Luke, and others. YS's favorite character on Lego Star Wars is the Luke in all black with the green lightsaber and Jedi powers. So he dressed up as his "favorite Luke" for Halloween. Special thanks to my MIL ("Grammy") for making the black cape to go with the costume.

It still rained on us a bit while we were at the community center. We had a costume parade around the basketball courts so everyone could see the costumes. They handed out glowing necklaces to put on the kids so they'd be easier to see in the dark. There were some really cute costumes there. Two families had their twins dressed up as Thing #1 and Thing #2 of Dr. Suess / Cat-in-the-Hat fame. Actually, in the picture on the left, you can see the lady in the orange shirt holding Thing #1 (you can't miss the red suit and bright blue hair), and the dad to the right of the umbrellas holding Thing #2 in one arm and holding the hand of the Cat-in-the-Hat on his other arm. There was a really good Gandolf costume (the mostly white appearing costume on the right side of the picture), Chewbacca, two ladybugs, and a really cute Little Mermaid. Pirates were a pretty popular costume across the board, but no two pirates looked exactly alike. Much to my surprise, the most common costume I saw was Joe Dirt. There were three Joe Dirt costumes that I saw.

The best part though was when Darth Vader showed up with his red light saber. YS just lit up with glee as he got to play his favorite Luke and have a light saber duel with Darth Vader. They went at it for quite a while and had an absolute ball. If you can open the second picture below, check out how big the smile is on YS's face!

"A-haaa! I've got you now!
Wait a minute... aren't you a little young to be my father???"

I hope you all had a Happy Halloween!