From the Mouths of Babes

Kids can say the funniest things. Here are a couple of stories and an observation for your amusement.

Chapter I. Geek Squad.

We're planning on buying a new TV at the NEX, so we went to do some furniture shopping tonight looking for a new entertainment center to go with the as-yet-to-be-purchased TV. After checking out the NEX furniture store, we went to Best Buy. As we pulled into the parking lot, ES saw the Geek Squad car and asked, "Mommy, what's that?" She told him it was the Geek Squad car. He asked, "What's a Geek?" She told him that it was guys who fix computers. This was all happening as we were parking and getting out of the car. So I get out of the driver's seat and close the door. I step back and open up YS's car door, and YS turns to me, smiles a big cheshire cat grin, and says, "Daddy you're a GEEK!" Man, I wish I could convey to you the glee in the tone of voice he used in proclaiming that revelation.

For the rest of our time shopping in Best Buy, both boys were running around pretending to be police officers, but saying, "Stop! Geek Officer!"

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Chapter II. A New YS Phrase.

There is a fairly new phrase in YS's vocabulary, and I have found it has at least two meanings. Here's an excerpt from the soon-to-be-released Webster's YS Dictionary:

Pokey Hair: n. 1. The way Daddy's hair looks when he gets up in the morning. See also "bed head." 2. The way YS's hair feels around the sides and back of his head after getting a haircut.

I don't know if YS had realized that there was a difference between definition 1 and definition 2 above until tonight. I think he just associated that feeling on the back of his head with the physical appearance of having bed head. Well, tonight I had put YS in bed and while I was waiting for ES to come in from brushing his teeth, I put my head down on the bed next to YS. He put his hand on the back of my head and felt the buzz-feeling from the haircut I just got a couple of days ago, and he said, "Daddy! You have POKEY HAIR!" I think he was surprised to feel that buzz feeling on the back of my head and not have the appearance of bed head.

Flashback: Ya know, when I got that Billy Idol wig as a gag gift at my farewell party from my last boat, I assumed it was due to my taste in 80's music... Now I'm not so sure it wasn't more in reference to my "pokey hair" in the morning.

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Chapter III. Shoulder Buttons.

I remember many years ago as a midshipman learning that there was a reason for everything on a Marine's uniform. The brass buttons on the sleeve were originally put there to keep the Marine from wiping his nose on his sleeve, and then over the years the buttons stayed there as decorative ornaments of highly polished brass.

Apparently, I need to find shirts for my boys that have buttons on the shoulders.

I don't know where they learned this habit. When they have a mess of chocolate or ketchup on their faces, they angle their head down and to the right, and then sweep their head up and farther to the right over their shoulder and wipe the mess off their face and onto the shoulder of their shirt. It's becoming a regular occurrence to see them with some sort of splotch of whatever they had for lunch or dinner on their right shoulder. LW and I keep telling them to use a napkin or a baby-wipe, but our admonishment falls on deaf ears.